My son Gelan's flirtatious remarks towards Julie before their courtship.
Afterward, they married. They have three beautiful sons, Tessa, Tobin & Tatum
Mystically speaking, at the very beginning, men might've hunted women for sex, moved by a conscious behavior out of unconscious sex drive arousal (id/ego). It was conscious because men did not hunt men for sex, unless some of them might have been not only weak on androgenic hormones (testosterones), the hormones that control the development and maintenance of primary male sex characteristics; but also they might've been estrogen dominants, a natural condition that happens when estrogenic hormones are produced in high level in women by their gonads (ovaries and testicles in men), the adrenal glands, the liver and the breasts!
To be aware of the importance of flirt on human procreation, and to understand better female behavior, reactions, and emotions, we must know that we are all at the mercy of our hormones, chemicals that transfer information and regulate many processes throughout the body. Moreover, when we are able to know how hormones can affect female body, mind and emotions, and how estrogens _ produced in both women and men, and playing an important role in the development of secondary sexual characteristics, as they are said to be responsible for the features that distinguish the two sexes of a species and, besides, believed to be the product of sexual selection, feature that gives an individual an advantage over his rivals on courtship and aggressiveness_ are able to stimulate breast development, the vagina and the uterus (womb) to mature, men might actually attribute many of their manly characteristics to the presence of these typically female estrogenic hormones. And when men happen to be lack in testosterones, estrogen dominants or to produce these hormones in high amount, they might behave emotionally like women, and might attract unconsciously, _and by instinct_ other men; what is more dramatic when our unconscious instincts lying in our psychics (id) cannot be prevented either by our inner control (ego) or by our outer control (intellect and social norms and rules/superego) from bursting.
In fact, as hormonal balance and its interaction are responsible of our emotions, including sexual arousal, attraction between opposite sex people is a product of this biologic process. Consequently, flirt is a natural biologic instinct in humans as a vehicle of social interaction seeking courtship and sexual cohabitation in agreed. Prevention, restriction or difficulty to perform human flirt may result in neurotic behavior or paraphilia (sexual deviation), being a type of psycho-sexual disorder characterized by a preference for, or obsession with unusual sexual practices that involves gratification towards atypical or extreme sexual behavior, such as rape, use of non-human objects, humiliation on oneself or on other partner, children sexual abuse, sexual harassment on non-consenting persons, and so on. Depriving men of performing flirt is even anti-ecological as it's like a sacrilege towards human extinction. In societies where flirt is a common feature of its culture, rapes or kidnapping seeking sex scarcely occur.
As far as women it concerns, at that said supposed beginning, they might've approached specific males as a defense mechanism not only to be safe and protected against others who, in uncontrolled sexual arousal, used to hunt them for sex-calming; but also to have protection for their offspring.
And as far as men it concerns, knowing that female hunting was no longer an easy means to have sex, and due to the fact that human brain developed as a result of human social interaction, they might've started using language as a means of communication to conquer women. It was a means of dissuasion and persuasion, putting aside, thus, the stick and their strength.
They might've started flirting as a means of women conquest to initiate a courtship. Women might've accepted this sort of relationship better and pleasingly. Therefore, owing to the fact that women were emotionally more sensitive than men, mainly as far as hormones interaction and balance it concerns, they might've been more positively affected when they received flirtatious remarks from opposite sex partners. So, human males might've made flirtatious comments to opposite sex partners seeking to attract them to begin a sentimental relationship or romance, i.e. a courtship.
Obtaining more data through ISRC Guide to Flirting, we would know that this social behavior is much more than just a bit of fun as it is a universal and essential aspect on human interaction, behavior that is found in every culture and society around the globe; it's a basic instinct of human condition. It's simply a basic aspect that we would not progress to keep procreation and that the human species would become extinct if we did not initiate contact and express interest in members of the opposite sex.
According to some evolutionary psychologists' criteria on flirt favoring evolution and human societies, no wonder flirting may even be the foundation of civilization. They argue that the large human brain_ the superior intelligence, complex language, everything that distinguish us from animals_ is the equivalent of the peacock's tail: a courtship device evolved to attract and retain sexual partners. “Our achievements in everything from art to rocket science may be merely a side-effect of the essential ability to charm”, they conclude.
How does the peacock have such a beautiful tail? Darwin's theory of sexual selection says nature's extravagances _ like the peacock's tail _ are advantages in the mating game. Marion Petrie, working with peacock, found that peahens choose their mates by the size and shape of the tail. This makes sense in evolutionary terms _ the largest tail would indicate a healthy bird and a better chance to procreate healthy offspring.
Among a great deal of types of flirts, I selected five important ways by which flirting can be done:
1. Non-verbal flirting: When a man and a woman meet for the first time, both are in a difficult, ambiguous and potentially risky situation. Neither person knows what the other's intentions and feelings are. Because stating intentions and feelings verbally involve a high risk of embarrassment or possible rejection, non-verbal behavior becomes the main channel of communication. Unlike the spoken word, body language can signal invitation, acceptance or refusal without being too obvious, without causing offence or making binding commitments.
2. Eye contact: Your eyes are probably your most important flirting tool. We tend to think of our eyes mainly as a means of receiving information, but they are also extremely high-powered transmitters of vital social signals. Eye contact is such a powerful, emotionally loaded act of communication that we normally restrict it to very brief glances. Prolonged eye contact between two people indicates intense emotion, and is either an act of love or an act of hostility. Unfortunately, in this society of too much sexual harassments and abuses, rapes, murders related to rape, drug abuse, most of a time women are scared when somebody look at their eyes trying to indicate emotion or love interest. Unfortunately, flirting occurs between strangers as friends scarcely flirt with love or sexual interest.
3. Interpersonal distance: The distance you keep from the other person when flirting is important, because it will affect his or her impression of you, and the quality of your interaction. Perhaps even more importantly, paying attention to the other person's use of distance will tell you a great deal about his/her reactions and feelings towards you. When you first approach an attractive stranger opposite sexual person, having established at least an indication of mutual interest through eye contact, try to make eye contact again.
4. Gestures: As well as overall body posture, the gestures we use can signal interest, attraction and invitation, or discomfort, dislike and rejection. When flirting, it's important to be aware of these non-verbal cues. In conversation, gestures are mainly used to enliven, clarify and 'punctuate' our speech, or to show responsiveness to what the other person is saying. In a flirtatious encounter, the amount of gesticulation, the directions of the gestures and the co-ordination of gestures can indicate the degree of interest and involvement your partner feels towards you. Different cultures vary widely in the amount of gesticulation that accompanies their speech, and even within a single culture, some people naturally express themselves more through gestures than through others.
5. Touch: Touching is a powerful, subtle and complex form of communication. In social situations, the language of touch can be used to convey a surprising variety of messages. Different touches can be used to express different meanings. The most fleeting touch can have even a dramatic influence on our perceptions and relationships. Yet, touching is a very important flirt. Experiments have shown that even a light, brief touch on the arm during a brief social encounter between strangers has both immediate and lasting positive effects. Thus, when flirting, it is therefore important to remember that the language of touch, if used correctly, can help to advance the relationship, but the inappropriate use of this powerful tool could ruin your chances forever.
6. For me, a very important means of flirting is a combination of non-verbal, eye contact and gesture flirting behavior: smiling and greeting with your hands while looking at the eyes of the opposite sex partner, but always smiling,
Let conclude saying that the decline of flirting between opposite sexual human beings in some higher developed and civilized societies might be a reason of the high rate of cultural homosexuality as people do not have a sign of stimulus for courtship and marriage after having established a mutual commitment of intimacy and passion, when courtship is a very important phase as during it the couple can find out if there is enough motivation and understanding to establish a marriage and to live together.
Thus, for more information and learning much more about flirting, we must follow ISRC Guide to Flirting, the main source of information of this article.
Angel R. Almagro
